I walked down the hall wondering who noticed me and who didnt. Did they know half the things i saw lately were hallucinations.
THey just assumed i was on drugs. But i wasnt.
I was an undiagnosed 15 year old girl. I wasnt on any medication, i didnt even like to take Advil.
I opened my locker and looked in my little locker mirror. I looked into my dark eyes. They seemed darker then usual.
I grabbed my notebook and went to class.
I was in English class, not hearing a word my teacher said. I was more interested in Cereal and numbers.
I guess my teacher noticed my lack of attention. He called me to the hall.
I backed up against the locker scared what he was going to do.
“You okay?” He asked. I nodded. He gave me a look like he didnt believe me.
So he sent me to my best friend, the guidance counselor. (not) She sent me to the nurse, my other best friend.
THey judged me when i was in a psychotic state. I could not help what i was doing. I got sent home early a lot.
Finally, my parents brought me to my very first shrink. I finally had a diagnosis. Depression.
I was put on Paxil. My very first medication.
Age 15, 16 and 17 were the toughest years of my life. I Had a lot of firsts.
First meds, first shrink, first diagnosis, first suspension, first hallucinations.
It was terrible!
All i wanted to do, was get out of that school.
when i turned 16, my parents took me out of that school. My prayers were answered and i was enrolled into a school that understood me and my actions.
I was finally happy.