I climbed out of my bed with the broken spring. It was late, around midnight. I tiptoed out of my room. The staff at the nurses station didnt notice me walk by. I walked down the hallway on tip toes. I reached the door. The door that locks you in and takes away your freedom from the real world. I attempted to open it. Of course i couldnt.
i went back to my room the size of a coffin, how ironic.
I climbed into the squeaky bed and under the covers.
i couldnt sleep, but my meds were kicking in. When they do, i hallucinate. I cried silently as tears ran down my cheeks.
“Im okay” i said 23 times to myself.
“Checks” it was staff. i shut my eyes pretending to sleep.
My first night in a psych ward.
It was not a nice experience.
I woke up at 7:12 am for breakfast. I went to the cafeteria with 3 staff and 12 patients.
i got some yogurt and fruit. I Sat at a table alone. I didnt fit in with the other patients.
after breakfast was school.
Math was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to meet with the on site shrink to adjust my meds and get the heck out of there.
I had been admitted for hearing voices. Today they seemed to be pretty quiet. After school, i finally met with Dr G.
He did some ink blot tests on me. I was so scared i would get the answer wrong!
but i seemed to have done okay.
that day the voices were the neutral ones; not good or bad. They told me to do things like turn the TV in the den off and on 23 times.
The other patients didnt appreciate that and one threw a crayon at me.
I went to my room crying. I WANNA GO HOME!!!
I somehow survived a week in that place. I knew i was not ready to go home, yet did not want to admit it…