Imagination VS Hallucinations!!!

I had a great imagination as a child. I had so many invisible friends. I pretended my bike was a pet horse. I would ride it around WalMart’s parking lot imagining myself in fields on a horse. I had no cares in the world.

Years passed. I got older but my imaginary friends were still there.

My imagination got stronger. I could vividly see my imaginary friends. They were no longer invisible, at the time, they felt real, they WERE real!

they started visiting me at night while trying to sleep. One being Billy.

I would talk to them. I had NO clue these people i were talking to, were just hallucinations

And i didnt know for years!

It wasnt until i was 16, I went to my 100th therapist. (exaggerating) I happened to mention these people i were seeing, and strange things i was hearing. She got concerned.

Not long after that, i went to my FIRST psychiatrist.

It turns out my friends Billy, Michelle and Peter, were not real. They were hallucinations.

I cried hard that night, i was so confused.

Why was i hearing these people, so clearly, but were not real.

It made no sense. I started to feel alone. ONe reason i started to cut. I felt i couldnt express my pain any other way.

Today is 2017, I am 28 and have been hearing voices for over 20 years.

Its part of who i am. I am a schizophrenic, but thats not all i am. I am a writer, a friend, a daughter, a cousin, a pianist, i love to do make up… there is so much more to me!

i have learned to accept i was blessed with mental illness. because, us who have mental illness, are special. oooxooxoo ❤

 

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