Expressing myself by CUTTING

I often find it hard to express myself. especially when i am having a hard time. When i was younger, I didnt know how to share the pain i had in my heart everyday.

So i cut.

I didnt want to cut and every time i did, i would pray to God that someone would walk in on me and catch me.

they never did.

I had about 9 slices on my belly from a pathetic plastic knife, my best friend at the time.

At Waltham Behavioral Psych ward, i sat right in front of the security camera. I pulled up my shirt and sliced my belly.

i looked into the camera with tears in my eyes.

“Help me” i whispered. No luck.

i went to bed with a blood stained shirt.

Finally someone at school noticed my wrists. I was sent to the nurse and she called my parents.

They searched my room and took away anything sharp. i cried and cried.

But i felt relief. I didnt have to hide my pain anymore.

I got started with a new therapist whom helped me deal with emotions with tools i never had used before like coping skills.

Now and then i struggle with my emotions still, but overall, i am doing SO well!!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s