I often find it hard to express myself. especially when i am having a hard time. When i was younger, I didnt know how to share the pain i had in my heart everyday.
So i cut.
I didnt want to cut and every time i did, i would pray to God that someone would walk in on me and catch me.
they never did.
I had about 9 slices on my belly from a pathetic plastic knife, my best friend at the time.
At Waltham Behavioral Psych ward, i sat right in front of the security camera. I pulled up my shirt and sliced my belly.
i looked into the camera with tears in my eyes.
“Help me” i whispered. No luck.
i went to bed with a blood stained shirt.
Finally someone at school noticed my wrists. I was sent to the nurse and she called my parents.
They searched my room and took away anything sharp. i cried and cried.
But i felt relief. I didnt have to hide my pain anymore.
I got started with a new therapist whom helped me deal with emotions with tools i never had used before like coping skills.
Now and then i struggle with my emotions still, but overall, i am doing SO well!!!