I lay in bed at Waltham Behavioral psychiatric Ward.
I guessed it was bout 5:30 am based on the sun rising outside my window.
My room mate was still asleep and I didnt want to wake her. But i found the plastic fork i had been hiding and tried to saw through the window to escape. Now today, i know that it would have been impossible to do so
But back then, my mind was all screwed up and i just knew if i did it enough i could be free!
Checks came by i threw the knife behind the bed, i would be in BIG trouble if i got caught with it.
i went back to bed. My mission failed.
i went back to sleep until the sun was shining bright outside my window. I got up and looked at the hole I made. THe window was made of heavy plastic not glass. there was a tiny divot. I had so much farther to go. I sighed.
I really didnt want to be in this ward, really not.
So i attempted to escape another way. I hid behind the laundry cart. My on site shrink buzzed himself out and i raced to catch the door before it locked. SUCCESS!
I was FREE!
I Stepped out of the ward when he turned around. Uh oh.
He grabbed my arm, buzzed us back in and dragged me to the restraint chair. All the sudden there was a bunch of staff just trying to restrain me. I Was kicking and pushing. BUt they got me. I was buckled down so tight it was hard to breathe.
“Im sorry” i sobbed.
They again, aimed me at the corner and i cried and cried.
What seemed like 10 hours later they let me out and sent me to my room.
I Wanted to go home more then ever!