I FOOLED THE VOICES!

im feeling a little weird right now. Same feeling i get when i am on a new medication. But I am not.

I hold my hands out in front of me and they arent mine. I move them because my brain tells them to, but my head tells them other wise.

I still seeing outlines on everything. White bright outlines. Its really strange. And i have been seeing more spirits then i have ever had before.

The voices are loud tonight also 😦 The bad ones. They are telling me to cut a sliver of my neck off. I am trying SO hard not to obey. In fact, i may have tricked my mind from tricking me.

I wrapped my hands around my neck and squeezed. I felt my face get red adn i couldnt breathe. SO i let go and that seemed to do the trick! I FOOLED JACK!

I hate hearing the bad voices. I admit i dont think i could live with OUT the good voices, but the bad. SIGH i hate them!

They are constantly calling me a loser and s bitch and selfish and such. It really hurts my feelings.

 

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2 thoughts on “I FOOLED THE VOICES!

  1. you know i had similar experiences ej. one day a few years ago, i just said to the voices and the world generally ( i was alone) that I AM a loser. I just felt that technically and by definition that is exactly the right description. It was a relief actually. and it freed me up energetically to start doing things that I really enjoy. Kind of like your thing with your neck, if you give a little, they seem to let go. i remember my voice was driving me mad to cut my wrists. i was so annoyed. finally i went to the kitchen and got a knife and barely scratched myself and i said , you know, that’s all you get. and i didn’t have that voice again. really though ej, i’m on latuda and wellbutrin, and it took just over a year to get used to the latuda, but i really have a great time now, and my nice voices did not disappear and they are around more and even friendlier than ever. maybe ask your doctor if it seems interesting to you. in any case, i would say as you get older, your voices will mellow and maybe even disappear. but you can still address the nice ones if you want. xx!

    • Thank u Ann! I would love if the voices were just nice ones and I think hearing the bad ones somehow makes me stronger I wish I could stand up to them every time tho

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