When i was 2 my parents got divorced. I was too little to know what happened. I turned 6 and Dad married my first step Mom. we never got along. She was mean to me and used to blame me when she and Dad fought. She said i would give him a heart attack. it was always my fault.
when i was 7, my half brother was born. I turned 8 and Mom married my step Dad. He was a good pick.
I started having anxiety around that time and started therapy. I passed out at school one day and started having blood work.
I was 10 when the voices came more frequently. I did not know that wasn’t normal. i thought everyone heard voices, thats why i didnt tell anyone.
My imaginary friends showed up more often. I had Jessie Protan my unicorn friend. Billy my imaginary neighbor and the first Michelle and Sari. I was never alone.
I moved into a new house and a new school that i was not accepted in. i just didnt fit in. I was in that school when i was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 10th grade.
I was not happy. I was dealing with cutting and throwing up after meals. When i got suspended for the second time, my parents decided to take me out of that school.
I was 17 when i admitted to the world i have schizophrenia. I was glad i finally had a name for everything i was experiencing.
The first psych ward was Arbor Fuller. My eating disorder got worse but i stopped cutting for a few months which was good.
When i was 17, i met my Dad’s girlfriend. She is not much older than me. We moved into an apartment.
i graduated high school at age of 18 and started in a program called Tradewinds.
It is a place for people with mental illness to socialize.
I got nothing out of it besides a boyfriend. He was a loser so i dumped him.
I Started at meals on wheels when i was 18. I packaged meals for the elderly.
it was fun and i did it for 8 years.
I was 23 when i was diagnosed with OCD. I would count everything, do stuff in patterns and it was really hard to live with.
Fortunately the meds i am on for OCD seem to help somewhat.
Now i am 28. I am still looking for a paying job. I still have anxiety, OCD and schizophrenia.
I feel so alone, i dont have many friends. I just want my life to change for the better before i give up.
I try so hard to be happy. Inside i am crying. I am good at keeping my emotions in.