I had an urge to run away last night. Nothing was wrong to make me want to. I was just upset. The voices were loud, my mind was busy and i was counting a LOT. I guess thats why..
I even packed a bag. I started to cry while i packed. Nobody but me knew my intentions. My Mom and step Dad were downstairs sleeping peacefully. My dog Bella was at the foot of my bed. I wasn’t alone, yet i felt it.
I sat on my bed and stared at my bag. I Started to cry. Did i really want to do this? i wasnt sure.
I just felt like i have had enough of this mental illness, i was giving up.
I mean, i could have killed myself and that would have ended the pain, but it will add grief to my loved ones. I am not selfish like that.
I tossed my bag into the corner and climbed into bed. I said a prayer to God and fell asleep. I have never slept as good as i did last night. I feel like God heard me and was giving me a break. I am so glad i didnt leave!