I know my therapist said just because i think of something, doesn’t mean it will come true, i am having a hard time accepting that.
I was in bed last night, in a great mood, no voices. I told God if i passed away that night i would be okay with that. i was at peace with death.
then i got freaked out! What if i really did die just because i said i was ok with it!!
MA said she has heard of elderly people wishing to die in nursing homes but they dont.
So why would it be any different for me?
I am not scared of death exactly, i am scared where i am going when i die.
i have a bad feeling that when people die, they are in a cyclone for the rest of eternity. i fear there is no heaven.
I just get so nervous!
I dont want people to miss me either.
its just so difficult thinking of death everyday!