I dont know what that means!!!

all day i have been having mini panic attacks. I have had like 5 today. I had my step Dad check my vitals, everything was good.

Its so scary though! I feel like i am dying.

I am excited about Christmas, but also nervous something bad will happen.

I counted a LOT today, and heard voices. SIgh, i hate days like this.

Jack, one of the voices in my head, woke me up last night from a sound sleep.

he said to me “If you dont carry a puppy on your back you might as well kill yourself” or something like that.

But i dont know what that means. It was hard to sleep after that because i was thinking of all the possibilities of how to die.

I DONT WANT TO DIE JACK!

as for counting today, I was watching Teen Mom and a commercial came on for Huggies. I had to hold my breath for 36 seconds and count as fast as i could before it ended. I won! i now have 4 wish points. i will use them wisely.

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10 thoughts on “I dont know what that means!!!

  1. Lifeasiknowchanges says:

    I really don’t like panic attacks
    Sometimes, I get anxiety chest pain and it feels like I’m going crazy
    Do you get them?

  2. Identify at least one reason to keep living everyday and make a habit of it… It may be difficult first but it will be easier. You have to replace thoughts about death with new thoughts about continuing to live.

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