all day i have been having mini panic attacks. I have had like 5 today. I had my step Dad check my vitals, everything was good.
Its so scary though! I feel like i am dying.
I am excited about Christmas, but also nervous something bad will happen.
I counted a LOT today, and heard voices. SIgh, i hate days like this.
Jack, one of the voices in my head, woke me up last night from a sound sleep.
he said to me “If you dont carry a puppy on your back you might as well kill yourself” or something like that.
But i dont know what that means. It was hard to sleep after that because i was thinking of all the possibilities of how to die.
I DONT WANT TO DIE JACK!
as for counting today, I was watching Teen Mom and a commercial came on for Huggies. I had to hold my breath for 36 seconds and count as fast as i could before it ended. I won! i now have 4 wish points. i will use them wisely.