I hate the brain i was given

I get so scared of my thoughts. What if my thoughts become actions? What if i did take that mug of HOT coffee and dump it on my cousins head!

I am at the stage where i know right from wrong, but i have a feeling, a bad feeling, that wont last forever.

I have been acting upon the little things voices tell me to do, how do i know if one day, i listen to the BAD thoughts.

I could kill someone, myself, kidnap, set fire, steal… I wish my mind were different. I really hate the brain i was given.

I feel that i should be enjoying life which i am not. Not to the fullest at least.

I have a good life, yes. No doubt.

But when the voices get involved, it just sucks.

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2 thoughts on “I hate the brain i was given

  1. emmiejosie, you show awareness, and that is really encouraging. try to go forward with confidence, and maybe even give yourself a hug for doing so well in overcoming the voices. I really do have a feeling that they may subside. xxb

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