Those girls were crazy!

I walked into the psych ward for the first time, not knowing what to expect. Girls everywhere screaming and swearing. The hall was too long. My room was too small.

I had my stuffed Grover Doll in my arms for comfort. I sat on the bed with a broken spring. I started to cry.

I cried so much that night but finally fell asleep. In the morning my eyes were swollen.

I felt so small, so alone.

I went to meet with my on site psychiatrist and then went back to my room to find out someone stole my jeans.

I thought i miss placed them then later saw a girl wearing them.

Back then i was really shy and didnt stand up for myself.

I never did get those jeans back..

My parents visited me daily which made everything a little better.

I sat in the dining room reading when this girl came up to me and asked If she could carve my name into her wrist with a pen.

I just stared at her. Shes like “Okay, then, bitch”

I did not make friends on that ward which made it hard.

I just didnt belong, these girls were CRAZY! I am NOT crazy!!

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2 thoughts on “Those girls were crazy!

  1. it can be helpful to meet other patients I think, with different symptoms and dxs. for me, it was very important to accept that I was one of them, even though I was in better shape than some of them. more “normal”. I still definitely belonged there. Talking with them was an important connection for me, it made me less scared and more informed. i remember them and I think about them and I wonder where they are. I think it is important to accept people generally, as much as possible and to know them and to try to understand them. i find it very helpful, as well as really really having a kind of peace and contentment and love about it. i think that really deeply opening yourself to yourself and to others is a way forward toward remission, maybe even a cure. i think it is important to accept it when you are located in a lock up a psych ward. i find it really calming and I am able to think there. just some thoughts xxb like really you know learn to love them and you will probably also start to love and appreciate yourself. it has that benefit.

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