freak

I turned the water on HOT and put my hand under it for 8 seconds. It HURT. But i loved it.

I had such a bad urge to burn my friend. I wanted to pour my hot cup of tea on her head. It would make me happy, but then i think about it and that would be terrible!
Luckily i know right from wrong, but its hard to stand up to the voices. I am SO scared i will do something bad with out meaning to and getting into BIG trouble.

I have therapy next week. I feel i really need it. I am so confused with my thoughts. Why does doing bad things make me happy?  i am a freak.

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2 thoughts on “freak

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