I hate being alone with voices in my head. Its like they never go away. I have people literally living in my brain it feels like! I feel like i have lost control of my mind. The voices control me! I don’t choose what to think about anymore. At night, i try to think happy thoughts, but the voices convince me to think about murder and rape. It sucks!
I just want to be in control of my own mind! Its been a long time since i could say i actually had control.
Currently here is who is living in my brain: I have an apartment up there, about 1/5 thats MY thoughts. Then there is Michelle, Nobody, Peter and the other Michelle. Michelle is the nice voice, Nobody is the bad voice. Jack is the newest voice. He is more like a neutral voice. He is in control of my OCD and tells me what to obsess over. The other Michelle is my twin. She lives in my head too, but she and i are like bffs. At night i talk to her when there is nobody else around, she makes me feel safe and happy. I cant see her, but i imagine she looks just like me!