Guilty

I had therapy today. It went well. We talked about how I listen to everything the Voices tell me to do, but shouldn’t. What i mean is: Lately i have been eating feathers for fear if i don’t, the voices will curse my family.
MA told me eating feathers is not healthy so i should not obey. She doesn’t get how hard that is, to not obey.
When i am sleeping at night, i wake up thinking I MUST KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! If i don’t look at the clock, all i think about is what time it is and cant fall back to sleep till i know. MA wants me to learn to distract myself. She wants me to be able to wake up in the middle of the night, think what time is it, and go back to sleep with out thinking of it non stop or obeying. ITS HARD! And i am struggling.
I also told MA how i feel guilty that i almost poisoned my friend….10 years ago! MA thinks i should let go of the past, work on the future and not feel so guilty.

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4 thoughts on “Guilty

  1. i think you should keep going into these things with your therapist and i think you should specifically work on the poisoning incident hun. i don’t know, you know it’s never too late to apologise and explain, even if you do in a letter you don’t send. i find that just facing my fear and offering an explanation is usually well received and that it kind of dispells the guilt and all that. you could write it on a fresh piece of paper or put it in your journal… xxb ❤

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