Tomorrow I have therapy and I am looking forward to it. Its the one time that i can say whatever is on my mind with out being judged or being felt sorry for.
I plan on talking to MA about how i still worry my thoughts will come true. Once i have a bad thought, like yesterday, i had the words “Cardiac Arrest” in my head.
All i could think about, is which of my loved ones will have a cardiac arrest. I was literally scared to think. I think of as many positive things as possible in 30 seconds. I tried to distract myself. No luck.
All last night i had fears and bad thoughts. I slept terribly. It sucks.
I also plan on talking to MA about me having to do 100 things at once and force myself to have fun.
Here are my thoughts this very second:
I need to drink water, i have to write, i must check my email, i need to make my apt, i have to clean my bathroom, i am tired, i need to walk, i wonder what 342 times 698 is, i may never know….
I hate when my mind races!!!!!!!!!!! AGUGGGGGGGGGG