Paranoid Thoughts

I cant go a day with out paranoid thoughts. I know I have paranoid schizophrenia but still, shouldn’t the meds be working???

Anyways. Today, my step dad and I went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. I waited in the car. I was listening to music when a cop pulled into the parking lot 4 cars away. Immediately, I thought I was going to be arrested.

My heart and mind started to race. All I could think about is what did I do wrong!

I shrunk down in my seat so he couldn’t see me. Bob came out and I asked him to go the long way home so the cop wouldn’t see where we live and stalk me.

I keep fearing my name will pop up on the internet and the paparazzi would spread rumors about me everywhere so everyone will hate me.

I fear my thoughts will come true, the bad ones. I fear that if I wash my hands too long, the water will soak into my skin, into my blood and thin my blood out too much.

SIGH.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s