Throwing up after meals, its all in the past…

When I was in Westwood Lodge Out Patient therapy, throwing up after meals was just part of the daily schedule for me.

Every morning, after my Dad’s EX wife would drop me off, I went straight to the bathroom to throw up my breakfast. It gave me a satisfying feeling.

Same thing after lunch.

But. One day this kid caught me throwing up in a trash can. He told staff and I got in trouble. I was monitored after meals.

When I got admitted into IN patient, the throwing up after meals got worse. I threw up with out even trying. SO they put me on this shake drink that was full of vitamins or whatever.

It was yuck.

Whenever I had to use the bathroom, the staff would stand outside the door and they would make me sing to them, so they could make sure I was NOT throwing up.

When I got out of the hopistal, my Dad would weigh me to make sure I wasn’t losing any more weight.

I got down to 98 lbs. One day I was put on Clozapine. I didn’t know at the time, but it causes weight gain.

I started to binge eat all the time and gained a whole 30 lbs in a short time.

Its so hard for me to lose weight. I know I could always throw up after meals like I used to, but that’s not healthy, so I wont.

I wont give up. I will eat healthy, exercise and drink lots of water!


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