I GET NOWHERE

I try so hard to ignore the voices. EVERYTIME I am in the car, I have urges to take the wheel and crash. The voices have yet to tell me to, but I am SO scared they will, and I will obey, and crash.

I have to pinch my arms to stop myself and listen to music to distract myself.

I told MA the other day how when I get mad I do two negative things: Cut or throw up. She wants me to work on other ideas I can do, positive things. Such as snap an elastic on my wrist.

I get so frustrated. I am coloring in my adult coloring book, and get out of the lines a TINY bit. I get angry and rip it up. I must start over. Why do I do that!? I GET NOWHERE.

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2 thoughts on “I GET NOWHERE

  1. Emmiejosie, I think that coloring outside the lines is a form of expression. try and draw freehand in a sketchbook. ac moore sells a watercolor pad for $5 with 36 colors, sketch with that. just for a difference from the coloring book. try not to judge yourself artistically, if things don’t look the way you would like them to at first. tape them up on the wall and just look at them when you think of it. you will improve. you are just a free expressionist waiting for a chance to express. tc xxblaine

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