It hurts

i feel very unloved today. I had anxiety at MOW so I went home early. I tried to help someone and it blew up in my face.

I want someone to be proud of me, but why would they? I don’t go to school, I don’t have a paying job, I have no BF, I am selfish and spoiled and have schizophrenia.

If I were my own child, I would give me up for someone else to deal with.

My family says they love me, but they never say they are proud of me. It hurts. If they don’t care, neither do I.

I am going to listen to music and try to feel gooder.

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2 thoughts on “It hurts

  1. Emmiejosie I think you should be proud of yourself. I am especially interested by your collages you make out of pictures from magazines. I have had schizophrenia, really my whole life, but especially for the last 18 years. It was important to me to knit, i made notebooks about business ideas, i wrote letters by hand and painted them, I did and still do some oil painting and i write my blog which has my pictures in it. I just mention these things because doing anything at all when schizophrenic is a victory. It is amazing that you volunteer for meals on wheels and your blog is really super too. You are achieving things every day, even if you don’t notice it or get noticed. Keep going!

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