I dont deserve fresh air

Will I ever be completely happy? I try everyday to put a smile on my face, but really on the inside I am crying.

I feel so depressed but cant show it because I don’t want to be put on more meds.

I feel like am a burden on my Mom and Step Dad because they have to take care of my meds, feed me, drive me around because I don’t drive, bring me to the hopistal when I am having a hard time….

I know they are my parents, it is their job…but I am 27 still living at home. I feel terrible.

Today the voices are bad. They keep saying how I am a ****ing B****. I don’t deserve fresh air.

So I hide under the blankets were it is safe.

I just want help. Fortunately I have therapy tomorrow. I can talk to MA about what’s going on.

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2 thoughts on “I dont deserve fresh air

  1. Emmiejosie i’m sorry you are having such a hard time. I have two things to say. About hating your body, your post from the other day – i have had good luck losing weight with lean cuisine and weightwatcher’s frozen meals. i have lost 32 pounds in the past year just from switching to those. I eat one for lunch and one for dinner, breakfast of my choice – you could still have your smoothies then. And about this post, I would advise you to ask your doctor about an antidepressant. When I was on Haldol, my dr gave me wellbutrin and it helped – by the way it also helps with hunger cravings. I’m still on the wellbutrin, but she switched me last september to latuda, which is also an antidepressant as well as an antipsychotic. Also, it doesn’t have weight gain as a side effect. Ask about it. My mood is more stable on that drug, i am happy every day and much more motivated. take care, xxblaine

    • Thank you for the advice! I definatly will talk to my psychiatrist… I just hate being depressed. That’s never been a problem for me, its a new thing for me. Thank you for caring and relating to me xooxoxooxo

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