My parents divorced when I was 2. My Dad remarried when I was 6, Mom remarried when I was 7, I went to Montessori school from preschool to 6th grade, I have No friends that I went to that school with to this day, I once passed out in 2nd grade from a wiggly tooth, I started to get anxiety in 3rd grade, I left school early a lot because of it. I graduated Montessori in 6th grade and moved onto a school called WCS. I was on the honor roll for one quarter and couldn’t have been more proud. In 8th grade I started to make myself throw up, but only on occasion. I also started to cut in the 8th grade.
In 9th grade I begun to hear voices too much. They were no longer back ground noises. I went to the nurse daily. I had a bad episode in the nurses office one day when a visiting nurse was there and recommended I see a physiatrist
I was put on my first medication.
I Started therapy and a new school, this time it was a therapeutic school. I made some friends that I still have to this day
I was tried out on dozens of medications and finally found Clozapine, my miracle drug. when I was 16, I went to my first psych ward ever. It was terrible and the first time I have been strip searched. I started to throw up more and my weight went down.
After that I went to 3 other psych wards, once every few months I would be admitted.
I started to cut my belly with plastic knifes and was locked In a room by myself for the first time. Also first time I peed my pants since I was a little kid.
My grandma, my best friend died a few years ago. I had not been in a psych ward for 9 whole years. My dr at the time took me off Clozapine to quickly and I lost it. I was admitted back into a psychiatric ward.
Since then I have been admitted 4 times. I moved into a house with my Mom and Step Dad. I get the whole upstairs to myself: a bedroom, office, make up room and bathroom.
I am learning to cook and take care of myself. I bathe every day and keep my room clean.
I go to therapy twice a month and see my shrink 1 time a month.
On Monday I am meeting a DMH worker and will help me with finding a job and transportations.
I fear showers, spiders, people who look too similar, mirrors, voices telling me bad things and more.
I am 27 years old now and I am doing SO better then I was. I take my meds three times a day and it helps my brain stay stabilized.