Sometimes I wonder why I got schizophrenia. Was it my fault? I did some questionable things when I was young, I sometimes feel like its my fault.
I created invisible friends, I licked the wall, I brushed my teeth with a Barbie doll’s foot, I chewed on doll house furniture at the age of 14, I made friends with a tree…
I just wish I knew what caused it. I feel like I should know.
When I was in Westwood Lodge Psych ward I did most of my hallucinating. I would see Pokémon fighting in my light, the floors had bubbles, the walls laughed when I tickled them. It was horrible. Since then the voices have changed. It used to be only Men’s voices, now its both, but mostly women. I feel like if they are inside of me, they know everything I am thinking, which freaks me out.
One day, at Westwood Lodge, I heard a voice tell me to bite myself, so I did. I just wonder, WHY. why do they want me to hurt myself?? Why cant the voices all be good!
In an ideal world they would be, But its not an ideal world, because weather I like it or not, the voices are here to stay….