I was researching Blogs by people with mental illness, specifically schizophrenia. I found some to be quite interesting. It was about people and how they cope with having mental illness.
I have written a LOT about my diagnoses which are OCD, Anxiety and Schizophrenia. I decided to share my story from the beginning. Those who have been following me, already know my story, so this is more for my newer viewers!
So if you are interested in my life, a 27 year old female with mental illness, read below! ❤
I was always a happy child. Even though my parents divorced at a young age, there were lots of people to love me.
I started having panic attacks in 4th grade. I often went to the nurse and I was sent home. At the time we didn’t know it was panic attacks.
I went for years and years with no sign of mental illness. Then I turned 16 and my world turned upside down. I started having trouble in school and even made a friend, Peter, that only I could see. Peter was the beginning of my journey. I started to hallucinate at school and went to the nurse daily.
One day I was having an episode and it just so happened there was a visiting nurse there. She told my parents this was more then just a panic attack.
So I went to my very first psychiatrist. I was there for 10 minutes and he decided I had depression. (which I really didn’t) He put me on Paxil.
It did nothing.
I was started in therapy with a lady named Stacy. I admitted to her I was hearing voices. She was shocked that I didn’t tell anyone. But I didn’t know there was anything to tell, I thought everyone heard voices.
Soon after that I turned 16 and went to my very first psych ward. It was nothing like I expected. I had no freedom, I was strip searched for the first time, the beds were hard, it was cold, and most of all, I missed my family.
I left that ward thinking I would never EVER go back.
But I did.
The next year, I was in and out of psych wards. I was then diagnosed with schizophrenia and anxiety. I did not like the word. In fact to this day, I don’t know the true definition of the illness. I know that I see and hear things others cant and I get paranoid easily. But I think knowing too much would affect me negatively.
Anyways. I was soon on the right meds and I didn’t go to a psych ward for 9 whole years!!
Then my doctor at the time, took me off Clozapine too quickly and I went back to the psych ward.
Soon after that, my new shrink said I also have OCD. I count things, I have to have everything in a particular order and so on.
Its not fun taking 15 pills a day but its less fun being locked up. So I will take my meds and pray they do their job, so I wont ever have to go back to another psych ward again. ever.