I started therapy when I was a child. It was suppose to help me talk out my feelings about my parent’s divorce, I think. I started with a women named Karen. I remember sitting in the waiting room reading highlights magazine waiting for our session. My last day with her we celebrated by having some soda and candy.
Then I went to Beth. Beth was nice. We would play games and talk about my family. We made a family tree together.
After Beth there were tons more therapists. Danielle, Stacy, Sue, Sheila, Tina, Marianne and more.
When I started therapy when I was like 6, to therapy I do now at age 26 (11) our sessions have changed a lot. I went from talking about divorce, to talking about my step parents, to talking about the voices and counting and hallucinations. I never got much out of my sessions. If I had been honest with the fact I was hearing voices earlier on in life things may be different for me. Maybe if I had told them when I was 14 that the voices were in my head and bothering me, I could have gotten the help. But the thing is, I didn’t know what I was hearing, others could not hear.
I decided to go into therapy this year with an open mind to learn. I want the help and frankly I deserve it. Everybody deserves to be happy. I think I would be happy with out the voices. I still want the good voices, but the bad I can definitely live with out.
I want to change some things for example the counting. Its a pointless activity that takes up my time. I count sooo much! Its like I cant go a day with out constant counting. I would like to work on my fears and nervousness. I wish I could just take a shower or blow dry my hair, or take a walk alone, or not hold my cell and seat belt while in the car, or anything else I fear.
I would like to have a normal life. I wish I were not on medication, I wish I had never had to experience a visit to a psych ward and I wish I didn’t hear voices. But wishing does nothing, Its the action I take to get the help.
Go to therapy with an open mind.
Be off medication one day.
Work hard on believing I am NOT 11.
I will live a safe happy and healthy life.